Horace Can't Help It...
...or, how David Tennant became an insufferably jerky astrophysics student
As 20-yr old David Tennant rounded the corner into the late summer and early fall of 1991, he was on top of the world. He’d graduated in late June from the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama with a BA in Dramatic Studies, and by August he’d already managed to secure himself a position with 7:84 (Scotland) for their upcoming production, The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui. He planned to spend nearly the entire month of September rehearsing for the play.
While waiting to start rehearsals he decided to answer a casting call for a photo feature, one which would eventually appear in the 6 October 1991 edition of Student Magazine. Student Magazine was an annual student guide published by Scotland on Sunday for university students. The guide was full of detailed information on such things as student accommodations and health as well as articles on college life, partying safe and sound, and eating out on the cheap.
The photo feature was called “Horace Can’t Help It”, and the Student Magazine called it:
“a touching tale of love and death in Fresher’s Week, and all because Horace Can’t Help It…”
“Horace Can’t Help It” was a tongue-in-cheek romantic farce written by Scotsman journalist Stuart Bathgate about Horace Morton, a second-year astrophysics student who meets a mysterious first-year art student named Madeleine. Bathgate planned to tell the tale using a comic book-style layout with live photo panels and speech balloons, and he needed to hire actors to play Horace and Madeleine. And as soon as Bathgate saw David, he told me, he immediately chose him for the role of Horace Morton.
Young actress and playwright Jenny Fraser had been selected to play Madeleine. David knew her well. The two had been fellow classmates at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama, and had acted together previously in at least four school productions (only one of which, a 1990 holiday season panto called Jack And The Beanstalk, is currently known to David’s fans)!
But David and Jenny had also worked together in a different capacity - as writer and director! You see, it was a requirement that RSAMD acting students teach RSAMD Junior School students as part of their course classwork, and David wasn’t exempt from this requirement. I’ve explored this subject before, when I discovered it was highly likely Alan Cumming taught David when he had attended the RSAMD Junior School!
But now back to “Horace Can’t Help It.”
David and Jenny were joined at the Kelvingrove Art Gallery in Glasgow that afternoon by Bathgate and photographer Liz Tainsh, as well as Bathgate’s wife and infant daughter to begin the shoot.
The entire Bathgate family made an appearance in the beginning of the strip; on a 2016 comment on Twitter he posted along with the photo on the right below, Bathgate jokes, “Thinking he's trying to abduct my daughter, I thump the future Time Lord with an unconvincing straight left.” And Bathgate’s daughter also joins in the fun by saying, “An insight into my tumultuous upbringing…”
Another photo Bathgate tweeted that day of his wife and daughter with David was apparently a rejected print which didn’t make it into the finished strip. If you compare the photo above with this one below, you’ll notice some subtle differences - for example, the infant’s head isn’t turned away from David, and Bathgate’s wife isn’t looking at him:
Bathgate tweeted one last photo during that 2016 Twitter conversation, which featured the first page of the three-page spread:
If you look closely above at the middle right panel, you can see a gentleman with white hair and a white shirt and tie. That’s Robert McAlpine (who at the time was Kelvingrove Art Gallery’s real-life security guard) in a cameo!
Some of the other “Horace Can’t Help It” photo locations were on the steps of Kelvingrove Art Gallery, the Stirling Castle Pub at 90 Old Dumbarton Rd. in Yorkhill (now closed), and at the Prince of Wales Bridge in Kelvingrove Park. You can see photos and comparisons below. Another shooting location was at the West Maternity Care Centre at the West Glasgow Ambulatory Care Hospital on Dalnair St. (up the street from the pub), but that’s not shown here.
Bathgate, now a freelance journalist for publications like The Scotsman, The Herald and The Guardian as well as a regular contributor to The Offside Line, a Scottish rugby website, was kind enough to speak with me some years ago about “Horace Can’t Help It” at a cafe in Edinburgh. He surprised me when he brought along with him one of his copies of the Student Magazine, and let me read it in its entirety while we were talking about the strip.
At the end of our conversation, as he prepared to leave, he slid the magazine over to me. “You keep it,” he said.
WHAT???
I was gobsmacked, and I don’t really remember how many times I said thank you. But I reiterate that thanks once again now. He was a thoroughly lovely man, and I enjoyed talking with him and learning more about the origins of “Horace Can’t Help It.” I’m enjoying sharing them with you here.
Oh, and here’s another little something else I thought you’d enjoy, from the 25 April 2005 edition of The Scotsman:
"A star was born in "Horace Can't Help It" when Tennant answered our appeal for a gormless student to fill the photo-role in a "a touching tale of love and death in Freshers' week". The brainchild of our esteemed Stuart Bathgate (since demoted to the sports department), he remembers David well. "As soon as I saw him, I knew he was Horace. He was so willing to help bring my pitiful script to life.”
I could explain the entire plot, but it’s probably just easier to read it. So without further ado, here is the front cover of the Student Magazine, and the last two pages of "Horace Can’t Help It”:
Now you’ve read through the story, you’ll probably have noticed it’s full of macho cringe and questionable actions and language. Horace was, after all, every inch that jerky and insufferable astrophysics student I mentioned above. So yup. Welcome to the 1990s!
David and Jenny Fraser and the others didn’t get paid real wages for their participation in the photo strip. Bathgate told me the entire cast were paid only with a pub lunch at The Stirling Castle pub, where they did the photos.
And oh yes, Jenny Fraser is now known as Jenny Ryan, and she has continued to pursue acting. She has established herself in various television dramas, including The Loch, Cracked, and Electric Blues as well as staples such as Monarch of the Glen, Rebus, and Taggart.
As for David? Well…we all know what’s happened to him!
Thank you - very silly this Horace, but the story is funny - after all.